Celebrity

Myleene Klass spells out true name of God on Countdown

FORMER Hear’Say singer Myleene Klass has triggered the End of Days after accidentally spelling out God’s true name.

Royal baby watchers booing non-royal babies

CROWDS outside St Mary’s Hospital in West London have been hurling abuse at any non-royal newborns.

Final Top Gear to show Clarkson regenerating into Salman Rushdie

UNAIRED Top Gear footage will be edited to show Jeremy Clarkson regenerate as writer Sir Salman Rushdie. 

Fairytale romances now include philandering

TIMELESS love stories can now begin with extra-marital boning, it has been confirmed.

Lots of cake left over at Piers Morgan’s 50th

MOST of the food at Piers Morgan’s 50th birthday party remained uneaten, it has been confirmed.

Naomi Klein’s great hair detracting from serious message

ACTIVIST and author Naomi Klein’s hair looks too good, it has been claimed.

Nobody cares about second baby, Kate told

THE Duchess of Cambridge has been advised that interest in her forthcoming baby is hovering around zero.

Clarkson offered producer a free punch at Hammond

JEREMY Clarkson asked Oisin Tymon to drop his complaint in exchange for punching Richard Hammond as hard as he could.