Celebrity

JK Rowling recorded two dubstep albums as Burial

HARRY Potter author JK Rowling has been revealed as the enigmatic dubstep producer Burial.

Murray knighthood would be like 'world's greatest dad' t-shirt

AWARDING a knighthood to Andy Murray would be a bit pathetic, it has been confirmed.

Zara baby to trigger civil war

THE announcement of a rival royal baby means that full-scale civil war is now inevitable.

Kate Moss designs range of nuclear missiles

SUPERMODEL Kate Moss has designed a range of nuclear missiles for style-conscious governments.

Popeye strong to the finish because of monkey hormone injections

SAILOR Popeye has admitted that his immense upper body strength is not the result of a spinach-heavy diet.