Paris Hilton Shows Vagina To Firemen
CELEBRITY heiress Paris Hilton is to display her shaved vagina in a heartfelt 'thank-you' to California's brave firefighters.
For the next 48 hours Miss Hilton will tour the state, positioning herself in a lifeguard's chair as dozens of weary firemen queue up to get a glimpse of her community-spirited quim.
Kyle Brandon, a 28 year-old fireman based in Pasadena, said: "A job well done is reward enough for us, but it's awesome when a big star like Miss Hilton comes down here and shows off her glory hole."
The Simple Life superstar said: "When I got out of prison I promised that I would use my snatch to help people.
"I can think of no worthier candidates for a vagina showcase than our brave fireguys."
She added: "This disaster has affected famous people from so many different backgrounds.
"I pray that a brief glimpse of my cockbox will give these men the strength they need to save us from the hot orange things."
Meanwhile celebrity magazines are clamouring for gossip on who is fleeing the inferno with heartbroken Friends sweetheart Jennifer Aniston.
According to Shit magazine Brad Pitt called Jen to make sure she was safe but hung up when the phone was answered by Luke Wilson doing a Vince Vaughan impersonation.