Home arrow News arrow Celebrity arrow PAUL McCARTNEY HAS BEEN DEAD SINCE 1966, CLAIMS HEATHER
PAUL McCARTNEY HAS BEEN DEAD SINCE 1966, CLAIMS HEATHER Print E-mail

PAUL McCartney was killed in a car crash more than 40 years ago and replaced with a hypnotised doppelganger, his former wife claimed last night.

Image
'Paul' is pictured with a cigarette in his right hand. The real McCartney smoked with his feet
Heather Mills said the Beatles' later albums were littered with clues which revealed that the man known to millions as Sir Paul McCartney is actually a pipe-fitter called Ian.

She told GMTV: "If you look very closely at the cover of Sergeant Pepper you can see that Paul McCartney is, in fact, a total bastard."

According to Mills, the cover shows the Beatles standing over a grave covered by an elaborate floral wreath. "If you rearrange the letters it spells 'Paul is a tight-fisted shit'."

Mills also claimed that when I am the Walrus is played backwards, the phrase 'Paul McCartney is a total bastard' can be heard 'as clear as day'.

She added: "He's nothing more than a second rate look-a-like that Brian Epstein picked up in a Blackpool snooker hall.

"The reason he's only got £400 million is 'cause he has to pay hush money to Ringo Starr and Jane Asher. Not that she needs it, the cakey-faced bitch."

The former glamour model and charity campaigner said that within a few weeks of the couple's first date, she released he was, in fact, dead.

"I wanted to say something but I was told, in no uncertain terms, that my new credit card had a £750,000 limit."

Mills also dismissed claims she had not donated money to charity, insisting her accountant had 'ticked the wrong box' on her tax return.

She added: "Unfortunately he ticked the little box that says 'spent it all on handbags and fortune tellers'."





Did you enjoy this article? Please share it!

Digg!Digg Reddit!Reddit Del.icio.us!Delicious Facebook!Facebook StumbleUpon!StumbleUpon Fark!Fark

 

adhole1


Mash TV


Buy Mash T-Shirts

Daily Mash Shop

This Week's Poll

Why have you been cursed?
 

Subscribe!

Sign up for the Weekly Mash newsletter. It's free.

Name:

Email:

Receive HTML mailings?
Subscribe Remove

RSS headlines

Get the latest Mash headlines with this RSS doo-da:

RSS Mash

adhole2