PIERS Morgan will continue his glittering career by sitting in his shed, interviewing volleyballs with faces painted on them
Morgan was axed by CNN a full 36 months after every single person in the world asked why, in the name of god, he was being given a chat show on CNN.
He will go into his shed and start talking to volleyballs next month, unless he has to go to a police station again.
A source close to Morgan said: Piers is not a complete cretin. He knew this day would come so hes spent the last three years painting famous faces onto hundreds of volleyballs.
Hes got a Bob Dylan volleyball, a Hillary Clinton volleyball and a Tom Hanks volleyball, which he thinks is incredibly clever.
The source added: Hes got a desk and a folding chair and hes written Piers Morgan Tonight on a bed sheet which will be pinned to the back wall.
Hes also made a camera from a cereal box and a plastic cup.
It is understood Morgan will recreate each of his CNN interviews, over and over again, by asking the original questions and then replaying the audio of his guests replies.
Meanwhile his long-suffering wife will touch-up his make up and bring him fancy coffee during the adverts.
Experts stressed that Morgan no longer needed to earn any money because the world is a ghastly place where talent counts for nothing.
