Receptionist shocked to discover sidebar fame

18-05-12

A 22-YEAR-OLD Londoner has been amazed to find more than a hundred stories about her weight, dress sense and love life on the Daily Mail website.

There she is, the fat bitch

Carolyn Ryan, a receptionist at a banking firm, happened across a story about her weight on the right sidebar between stories about a Strictly dancer and a US reality TV star.

Further investigation revealed Mail Online had been running stories about her since last June, accompanied by paparazzi images she was unaware were being taken.

She said: “This one’s me leaving the gym, with a caption about all the maintenance my famous curves need. Here’s one at my friend Susan’s wedding sarcastically telling me not to upstage the bride.

“There are stories about me taking the dog for a walk – with a 12-photo sequence of me picking up his shit and the headline ‘It’s a dog’s life for Carolyn!’ – even a story about me going to a cashpoint outside Sainsbury’s then using the money to buy a bag of oranges.

“If I’m not daring to bare in a little black dress then I’m committing a fashion faux-pas by covering up my classic pins in a less-than-flattering pair of jeggings. Why me?”

Mail Online editor Nathan Muir said: “No, she’s definitely famous. She’s been in one of them reality shows. Not Essex, that other one about the WAGs. Or isn’t she Courtney Stodden’s dog’s anus bleacher?

“Well, she’s famous now anyway.”

According to sources, Carolyn spent last night drowning her sorrows with pals in London’s exclusive Whisky Mist nightclub while struggling to maintain her modesty in a wickedly low-cut chiffon dress.

 

 

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