Rotting elephant corpse parties with Kerry Katona
THE decomposing elephant from Channel 4’s Life After Death has been spotted partying with Kerry Katona at a string of exclusive London clubs.
Fast-rising carcass Tom Logan spent last night celebrating his success at some of the capital’s most glamorous venues with such luminaries as Alex Reid, Lisa Faulkner and Dean Gaffney, before finally being winched out of Soho members’ club Prick House at 5am with former Atomic Kitten songstress Kerry Katona.
An onlooker said: “They looked like they were really enjoying each other’s company outside the club as the dead elephant was carefully lowered onto a chaffeur-driven flat bed lorry trailer.
“Kerry was whispering in its ear flap and giggling. She certainly didn’t seem put off by the flies, the stench, or the murder of crows tearing shreds of decaying flesh from his putrefying flank.”
Logan’s meteoric rise to fame began when Channel 4 executives spotted him disintegrating near a dried-up watering hole.
He has since been moved to London, where his agents are rumoured to be in advanced talks with the producers of Hollyoaks.
Celebrity pundit Nikki Hollis said: “Tom’s the current dead thing du jour but there’s lots of other deceased mammals bubbling under.
“The word on the entertainment grapevine is that there’s a really good bloated porpoise just washed up on a beach in Denmark.”
She added: “Tom certainly looked tired when he left Whiskey Mist last Tuesday via a complicated system of pulleys.
“I hope he isn’t partying too hard as a way of escaping the pressure.”