What's a Piers Morgan? asks Ariana Grande

06-06-17

INTERNATIONALLY famous pop star Ariana Grande has asked her team to explain what a Piers Morgan is.

Morgan initially criticised the singer for flying home after the Manchester attack, but then was charitable enough to absolve her using the immense powers of importance conferred on him by himself.

Morgan said: “As an incredibly influential social commentator, I know that Ariana Grande would have been devastated by my indictment of her actions.

“In my initial opinion Grande should have stayed in Manchester, maybe working in the hospital shop.

“However, I have seen fit to forgive her now that she has raised millions of pounds and put on an incredibly powerful concert for those affected. I even described her as a ‘admirable young woman’.”

Grande subsequently asked an assistant what a Piers Morgan was and what it did.

When it was explained to Grande that a Piers Morgan was a gimlet-eyed bellend, she said: “What’s a bellend?”

After someone showed her a picture of Morgan on her phone, she replied: “Okay, I get it now.”

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