HIS Royal Highness Prince William was in fine spirits last night after another absolutely spiffing day out.

'I'm having a lovely time, thank you for asking'

"I wonder why people don't use their planes all the time. What is the point of owning one and then just leaving it in your field?"

In preparing for the role of monarch, the Prince will spend a year having really terrific days out with the armed services, before focusing on his main constitutional duty of not being a Catholic.

The Prince added: "Next month they're going to give me a boat with helicopters on it that I get to drive around the sea for a couple of days. That's got 'spiffing' written all over it."

He was then driven to Kate Middleton's apartment, where she performed oral sex on him while dressed as Jessica Rabbit.

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