Big horny spiders are having sex all over your house

04-10-17

SPIDERS are shagging in your house right now and there is nothing you can do about it.

Sex-crazed arachnids are getting their legs over in bathtubs, ceilings and under your bed while you are asleep, experts claim.

Professor Tom Howard, explained: “They are at it in the laundry basket, under the sofa and sometimes they’ll even do it right next to you while you are sleeping.

“The filthy bastards.”

Incy Wincy, a spider from Bristol, said: “The other night me and the missus had it off behind a sofa while a family were watching Victoria.

“Another night we did it in the sink three times while a woman was sat on the toilet having a piss. Good times.”

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