Britain pathetically excited about sunshine
THE prospect of decent weather has inspired truly heartbreaking levels of joy across the UK.
As forecasters predicted temperatures bordering on the pleasant with tolerable amounts of rain, Britons were scampering in circles like over-enthusiastic termites, hardly knowing what to do with themselves.
Sales co-ordinator Emma Bradford said: “I’ve bought a straw hat and a Summer Fruits Oasis in anticipation of the first beam of sunlight penetrating the dense wall of grey cloud.
“Let me just check out the window. Nothing yet. But it’s coming. It’s coming.”
Office worker Tom Logan added: “It’s going to be hot and sunny! Not just hot or sunny, but both at the same time.
“I’m going to eat my lunch outside with my sleeves rolled up to my elbows. And you can’t get much better than that.
“Everything’s going to be alright forever.”