Britain's skies unprepared for massive volcanic cloud AGAIN
DAVID Cameron has pledged a full-scale inquiry as it emerged that
British airspace is unable to deal with an enormous volcanic cloud for the
second year in a row.
Like this but massive and hanging from a huge balloon
As Iceland’s Grimsvoetn volcano spewed its holiday-destroying guts into the air, Britain was yet again unprepared for what experts described as perfectly normal ash cloud conditions for this time of year .
But after last year’s ash cloud debacle it emerged that Britain still has:
NO stockpiles of grit to melt ash clouds;
NO state-of-the-art volcanic cloud ploughs;
NO massive, sky-based hairdryers to blow the ash cloud towards places no-one goes on holiday, such as Denmark or Belgium.
The department of transport insisted the country had enough medium-sized cloud ploughs to keep one or two major flight paths open but inevitably there would be problems in small pockets of local airspace, preventing thousands of decent hard-working families from taking their microlights to the shops.
Helen Archer, a housewife from Stevenage, said: “I spent £1.7m on an ex-Soviet Mig 29. I use it for the school run. But a few a flakes of Icelandic ash and it’s stuck in the garage. Someone deserves to die for this.”
A spokesman for budget fucking bastards Ryanair said: “The UK government knows there are volcanoes in Iceland, it knows they go off at this time of year and yet they cannot even encircle Britain and much of continental Europe with 50,000 solar-powered helicopters suspending an 8,700 mile long anti-volcanic cloud tarpaulin.”
Confirming the appointment of a high-powered ‘Cloud Czar’ who answers only to Jesus, the prime minister said: “When people in this country are angry about something then they are always right.”
Meanwhile Mr Cameron stressed progress is already being made with the Office of the Cloud Czar calculating that Grimsvoetn is 47 per cent more pronounceable than the one that went off last year.
