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	<title>The Daily Mash &#187; Environment</title>
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		<title>Middle class rhino birth rates falling</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/middle-class-rhino-birth-rates-falling-2013051068235</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 10 May 2013 09:11:22 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[A REPORTED increase in rhino birth rates is being offset by the number of better-off, educated rhinos that are delaying having offspring. Zoologist Mary Fisher said: &#8220;Career-focused rhinos are putting off having calves until it&#8217;s nearly too late and they have to go to a special fertility zoo. &#8220;They&#8217;re making big money marketing themselves to [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Surprised-looking big cats roamed Britain</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/surprised-looking-big-cats-roamed-britain-2013042566796</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 25 Apr 2013 11:25:30 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=66796</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A REDISCOVERED museum specimen is evidence that Britain was once home to big cats that looked permanently surprised. A spokesman for Bristol Museum said: &#8220;The surprised-looking lynx was Britain&#8217;s last native big cat species. &#8220;The creature only had a four-second memory so it was constantly like &#8216;woah, what the hell is that tree-shaped thing, or [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Sweatiness out of control</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/sweatiness-out-of-control-2013041966033</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 19 Apr 2013 07:53:29 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=66033</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[BRITONS are sweating like pigs as the weather refuses to make up its mind.]]></description>
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		<title>Spring thinks it&#8217;s too late to start now</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/spring-thinks-its-too-late-to-start-now-2013040564772</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Apr 2013 07:38:00 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[SPRING will bypass the UK this year after deciding that to arrive so late would be unbearably awkward.]]></description>
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		<title>Butterflies targeted by small game hunters</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/butterflies-targeted-by-small-game-hunters-2013032764056</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 27 Mar 2013 11:20:47 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=64056</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[BRITAIN&#8217;S butterflies are being hunted for their valuable antennae. Their antennae are being processed into a powder called &#8216;Butter Bone&#8217; which is claimed to prolong erections. Several species are now facing extinction. Hunter Tom Logan was unrepentant: “The other thing about butterflies is they’re small, you can mount loads of them on shields over your [...]]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Will snow lead to better crime dramas?</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/will-snow-lead-to-better-crime-dramas-2013032663831</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 26 Mar 2013 10:06:30 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[FREEZING Britons expect the newly-Arctic UK to lead to a spate of compelling crime-based television.]]></description>
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		<title>Even little kids want snow to f*ck off now</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/even-little-kids-want-snow-to-fck-off-now-2013031262419</link>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Mar 2013 09:04:21 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=62419</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[EVEN small children have run out of patience with the snow, it has emerged.]]></description>
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		<title>Britain&#8217;s wildlife getting into football hooliganism</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/britains-wildlife-getting-into-football-hooliganism-2013031162348</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 11 Mar 2013 12:31:26 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=62348</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[BRITISH animals are to start causing trouble at England football fixtures, it has emerged. Following disturbance at a Swiss match where a pine marten bit a player, Britain&#8217;s native mammals were inspired to organise themselves into football firms. Badger Julian Cook is a member of the Woodland Crew: &#8220;Any foreign animals get up in our [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Humanity virus almost cured, says planet</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/humanity-virus-almost-cured-says-planet-2013031162238</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 11 Mar 2013 08:51:15 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=62238</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[PLANET Earth is celebrating after a major breakthrough in its battle against the deadly humanity virus.]]></description>
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		<title>Lambs disillusioned</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/lambs-disillusioned-2013030461599</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 04 Mar 2013 08:49:15 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=61599</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[MANY of this year's lambs are being born jaded.]]></description>
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		<title>Titanic II vows revenge on icebergs</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/titanic-ii-vows-revenge-on-icebergs-2013022761221</link>
		<pubDate>Wed, 27 Feb 2013 10:21:23 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[TITANIC II has pledged to destroy all the world's icebergs.]]></description>
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		<title>Siberian wind will strip away your layers of tawdry self-delusion, says Met Office</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/siberian-wind-will-strip-away-your-layers-of-tawdry-self-delusion-says-met-office-2013022260679</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 22 Feb 2013 10:17:17 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[A BITING wind from the haunted, barren plains of Siberia will expose the lies you tell yourself, the Met Office has confirmed.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Hornets going to sting anyone who uses them in racist simile</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/hornets-going-to-sting-anyone-who-uses-them-in-racist-simile-2013022160550</link>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 Feb 2013 10:18:20 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[YELLOW-LEGGED hornets have promised to sting anyone who compares them to human immigrants.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Female panda &#8216;just wants to stay friends&#8217;</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/female-panda-just-wants-to-stay-friends-2013021860037</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 18 Feb 2013 08:51:44 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[THE UK's giant panda breeding hopes are in tatters after female Tian Tian announced she likes her prospective partner as a friend.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Sea slugs unlikely to do stupid shit</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/sea-slugs-unlikely-to-do-stupid-shit-2013021559912</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 15 Feb 2013 09:19:22 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=59912</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[SCIENTISTS have discovered the sea slug’s detachable penis means it tends not to act like an idiot. Their ability to leave their genitals on the sea bed makes them 10 times less likely to jump off a reef to impress another slug. Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute For Studies said: “If human males develop [...]]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Experts warn that winter could last until spring</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/experts-warn-that-winter-could-last-until-spring-2013021159228</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 11 Feb 2013 10:40:58 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[News Briefly Box]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=59228</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[BRITAIN&#8217;S latest winter could last until it stops, experts have warned. The Met Office is now predicting that spring will not arrive until the weather starts to warm up a bit and then stays like that for a while. A spokesman said: &#8220;We had hoped that spring would start in the first half of February, [...]]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Everything eating everything else</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/everything-eating-everything-else-2013021159223</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 11 Feb 2013 09:42:49 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=59223</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[PLANET Earth's eating habits are out of control, it has been confirmed.]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Welsh sun-worshippers rend garments</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/welsh-sun-worshippers-rend-garments-2013020859031</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 08 Feb 2013 09:11:40 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[WALES has asked for science to apologise after threats of solar storms were confirmed.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Should we do something about all this water? ask MPs</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/should-we-do-something-about-all-this-water-ask-mps-2013020158341</link>
		<pubDate>Fri, 01 Feb 2013 10:11:39 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/?p=58341</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[THERE'S quite a lot water around these days isn't there, according to a committee of MPs.]]></description>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Dolphin faked entanglement &#8216;to meet hot diver&#8217;</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/dolphin-faked-entanglement-to-meet-hot-diver-2013012857516</link>
		<pubDate>Mon, 28 Jan 2013 08:41:16 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[THE dolphin freed from a fishing line by a diver propositioned him shortly afterwards, it has emerged.]]></description>
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