Naive young grouse excited about ‘grouse season’

JUVENILE grouse Tom Logan is eagerly anticipating the forthcoming ‘grouse season’.

As the grouse season begins, Logan, who is less than a year old, believes there will be a host of fun events of specialist interest to grouse.

He said: “There’s probably going to be a big exhibition called ‘Grouseworld’ with stalls selling delicious vegetation and insects, fairground rides and flying displays. It’s like a big celebration of grouse that goes on for months.

“There aren’t many species lucky enough to get their own season. I’m not even sure why we were singled out for it. I suppose everyone just likes grouse.”

Logan’s mother, Emma Bradford, a veteran of two grouse seasons, said: “Perhaps we should have been more honest with him.

“I remember when I first found out about the season. I was like, ‘what…the…fuck’. Things are never really the same after that, even throughout the rest of the year it’s hard to properly relax.”