Other Species Increasingly Obsessed With Fame
INSECTS and animals are increasingly exhibiting fame-hungry behaviour, according to experts.
I'm a Thomson's gazelle, get me out of here
Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, spent the last five years researching attention-seeking in non-human species for his paper entitled Naturally Fabulous: Celebrity Culture in the Animal Kingdom.
He said: “Over the past decade we’d noticed increasingly cryptic behaviour, such as complex, co-ordinated dances by termites that were believed to be some obscure part of the reproductive process.
“But following exhaustive research we discovered that the termites’ dance was perfectly synched to the rhythmic structure of Naughty Bit by the Black Eyed Peas, a popular dance track fusing the theme from Dirty Dancing with commercial techno.
“The dance was not some wonderfully obscure part of the insects’ lifestyle illustrating the amazing, mysterious, myriad complexities of the natural world, but a simple ploy to get people to look at them. And perhaps film them for the telly or internet.”
He added: “I’ve since noticed similar behaviour in everything from toads and gibbons to those fish that swim up your penis.
“Their heirarchies are now based not upon physical strength or intelligence, but the ability to sing a bit like Usher while exhibiting clearly-defined abdominal muscles.
“I honestly do not know where it will all end.”
Tom Logan, a rapping praying mantis recently signed to a leading talent agency, said: “I’ve always believed there was more to life than being decapitated by my first sexual partner.
“I’m doing this for all the insects out there who ever dared to dream. Especially if they’re mantids of the subclass neoptera.”
