WOMEN who know their place emit less carbon dioxide than uppity madames with so-called careers, it was confirmed last night.
GLOATING water voles last night said they were loving it as new figures show they are thriving while everyone else is screwed.
OVER 50% of mammals need to outsource their core functions to a private contractor or face extinction, according to a right-wing biodiversity survey.
THE Arctic Circle is on course to be really quite lovely by 2019, new research has confirmed.
AN oaf who makes no difference to anything was last night targeted by some hippies with no boyfriends.
FOUL-tempered old women with massively thick limbs are to be installed in British homes in a government move to limit food wastage.