BRITAIN'S bees are to be privatised in a bid to reverse their decline.
THERE are still wasps, everyone told everyone else this morning.
THIS year's autumn leaves are looking amazing if that's the kind of thing you're into.
THE public has been warned to keep away from farmers after a yoghurt fan was shot while asking a Welsh herdsman to 'bust some rhymes'.
DAVID Cameron has said domestic energy bills will tumble once everybody's house is a pile of rubble.
TEMPERATURES in the UK are going to fall sharply over the coming weeks
because that is what happens at this time of year, it has been claimed.
THE latest edition of the Times Atlas of the World has missed out a huge mass of twats talking shit at each other.
MILLIONAIRE banker Sir David Scholey remains unable to achieve an erect penis despite shooting bullets into a lion, it has emerged.