TREES have reverted to being malevolent skeletal shadows looming in your peripheral vision.
POPPIES have rejected any association with the paranoid, hate-fuelled agenda of The Daily Mail.
ENVIRONMENTAL campaigners are claiming to get a massive buzz off harmful pesticides in order to get them banned.
FLY Rob Hobbs is struggling to think logically after becoming trapped in a house.
THE Tree of the Year competition is dominated by trees with wealthy and well-connected parents, critics have claimed.
PETS of all species have demanded that unlimited amounts of food are made available to them at all times.
A GROUP of caners spotted in a Welsh valley noted for psilocybin mushrooms have claimed they were just getting some fresh air.
LOCALS in a Somerset village have flatly denied claims of a pervasive smell of excrement.