Everything eating everything else

PLANET Earth's eating habits are out of control, it has been confirmed.

Welsh sun-worshippers rend garments

WALES has asked for science to apologise after threats of solar storms were confirmed.

Should we do something about all this water? ask MPs

THERE'S quite a lot water around these days isn't there, according to a committee of MPs.

Dolphin faked entanglement 'to meet hot diver'

THE dolphin freed from a fishing line by a diver propositioned him shortly afterwards, it has emerged.

Wind turbines attack school

UNSIGHTLY wind turbines have attacked a school near Swindon, leaving a trail of dismembered corpses in their wake.

Scientists discover crabs can swear

CRABS are capable of verbalising obscenities, it has emerged.