MANY of this year's lambs are being born jaded.
TITANIC II has pledged to destroy all the world's icebergs.
A BITING wind from the haunted, barren plains of Siberia will expose the lies you tell yourself, the Met Office has confirmed.
YELLOW-LEGGED hornets have promised to sting anyone who compares them to human immigrants.
THE UK's giant panda breeding hopes are in tatters after female Tian Tian announced she likes her prospective partner as a friend.
PLANET Earth's eating habits are out of control, it has been confirmed.