Environment

Should we do something about all this water? ask MPs

THERE'S quite a lot water around these days isn't there, according to a committee of MPs.

Dolphin faked entanglement 'to meet hot diver'

THE dolphin freed from a fishing line by a diver propositioned him shortly afterwards, it has emerged.

Wind turbines attack school

UNSIGHTLY wind turbines have attacked a school near Swindon, leaving a trail of dismembered corpses in their wake.

Scientists discover crabs can swear

CRABS are capable of verbalising obscenities, it has emerged.

Disco meteorologists predict heavy downpour of men

IT'S going to start raining men for the first time in history, according to 70s disco meteorologists.

Flood victims battling to keep out sympathetic reporters

HOUSEHOLDERS in the South West are barricading themselves into their waterlogged homes to avoid being patronised.