THE ruptured oil pipe in the Gulf of Mexico has been capped just minutes before everyone realised it had all been their fault.
SUPERFLUOUS wildlife is still hampering vital progress in the logging and fast food industries, it was claimed last night.
GLOBAL warming is probably being caused by ghosts, climate scientists claimed last night.
BEAVERS are to be renamed 'riverdogs' after zoologists finally conceded defeat to the overwhelming forces of sexual innuendo.
SHOPPERS are being offered the chance to use ethical purchases to 'offset' acts of unspeakable foulness.