THE majority of Britain’s hedgehogs, moles and hares have made homes in derelict DVD libraries.
SLUGS get into kitchens by teleporting, it has emerged.
ENDANGERED water voles have designed a revised food chain where nothing eats them.
GEESE are inexplicably convinced that they are hard as nails, it has emerged.
DELIBERATELY antagonistic people are claiming to prefer the wet weather just to provoke arguments.
DRIVERS of 4x4 offroad vehicles are campaigning for more challenging roads with rubble and other hazards.
MILLIONS of gallons of face paint washed off in the wake of Brazil’s humiliating defeat have turned the nation’s rivers turquoise.
TOMCAT Roy Hobbs says he can't be bothered to catch mice, preferring to eat shitloads of Go-Cat.