THE UK's giant panda breeding hopes are in tatters after female Tian Tian announced she likes her prospective partner as a friend.
PLANET Earth's eating habits are out of control, it has been confirmed.
WALES has asked for science to apologise after threats of solar storms were confirmed.
THERE'S quite a lot water around these days isn't there, according to a committee of MPs.
THE dolphin freed from a fishing line by a diver propositioned him shortly afterwards, it has emerged.
UNSIGHTLY wind turbines have attacked a school near Swindon, leaving a trail of dismembered corpses in their wake.