BRITAIN has once again found itself unprepared for snow as it has been since the beginning of recorded history.
DOGS are using social media for no-strings hookups with other dogs, it has emerged.
A DOG hipster will only eat an obscure type of vintage dog food that he enjoys in a semi-ironic way.
BUDGERIGARS imprisoned by weirdos around the UK have issued a statement pleading to be set free.
THE loss of two-thirds of the earth’s wild animals in the next four years has been blamed on their refusal to earn and save money.
AN OVERWEIGHT cat is not at all self-conscious about it, he has confirmed.
A SEAGULL has landed at the summit of a litter bin and proclaimed himself the ruler of all he surveys.
LONDONERS have told the gorilla which tried to escape from London Zoo that it is all of them, and it was doomed from the start.
- Bohemian, middle-class household just dirty
- Apes wonder why they haven’t taken over world yet
- Hinkley Point nuclear plant given go-ahead because 'it's only near Bristol'
- Southern Britain goes all fancy and continental in heatwave
- Motorists form orderly queues within marked lanes in bank holiday traffic chaos