Environment

Geese think they are hard

GEESE are inexplicably convinced that they are hard as nails, it has emerged.

Antagonists claim to prefer the weather like this

DELIBERATELY antagonistic people are claiming to prefer the wet weather just to provoke arguments.

4x4 drivers demand worse roads

DRIVERS of 4x4 offroad vehicles are campaigning for more challenging roads with rubble and other hazards.

Face paint threatens Amazon ecosystem

MILLIONS of gallons of face paint washed off in the wake of Brazil’s humiliating defeat have turned the nation’s rivers turquoise.

Shameless cat won't catch mice but expects YOU to feed him

TOMCAT Roy Hobbs says he can't be bothered to catch mice, preferring to eat shitloads of Go-Cat.

Rain dampens spirits

CLAIMS that rain wouldn’t dampen spirits at Glastonbury and Wimbledon this weekend have been proved wrong.

Stop asking us about f*cking football results, say octopuses

OCTOPUSES have confirmed that they are not psychic and would prefer to be left alone.

Human personality just a reaction to weather

YOUR thoughts and feelings are dictated by whether it is sunny.