Environment

Fracking thing starting to feel completely insane

THE search for shale gas in the UK is beginning to feel as if it might be psychotic, it has emerged.

Cats into people humour

CATS love any quirky and winsome humour associated with people, it has emerged.

Rest of UK excited about underwater London

NEW projections that London will be reclaimed by the sea have been greeted enthusiastically by the rest of the country.

Dogs ready to have senses overloaded

DOGS around the UK are determined not to lose it this year when the banging starts.

Trafficked fish forced to nibble feet

FISH from around the globe are being brought to the UK and forced to eat human foot tissue in sleazy 'spas'.

Leaf-blowing not as much fun as it looks

BLASTING leaves with a handheld air cannon is surprisingly frustrating, it has been claimed.

Time altered to suit nation's several remaining milkmen and farmers

THE nation is to be plunged into darkness because of about a dozen people who still deliver milk or grow things.

Women encouraged to challenge gender roles by tackling scary spiders

WOMEN should feel empowered to remove poisonous False Widow spiders from the bath, according to men.