Environment

Big horny spiders are having sex all over your house

SPIDERS are shagging in your house right now and there is nothing you can do about it.

Cat thinks 'missing cat' poster is some sort of weird pin-up

A CAT has been left confused by a ‘lost cat’ poster because the cat in it is quite hot.

Pigs insulted by vegetarian bacon

PIGS are disgusted with humans for pretending that vegetarian bacon made of rehydrated soya protein could compare to their delicious flesh.

Dog cancels important garden visit due to rain

A DOG has confirmed the cancellation of a trip to the garden because of poor weather conditions.

Nation divided over whether to put the heating on

BRITAIN is divided over whether or not it is cold enough to turn on the heating, it has been confirmed.

Massive labrador claims it's just puppy fat

A FAT Golden Retriever claims his excessive size is just puppy fat despite being nine years old and finishing every meal with a trifle.

Cats demand more corners and edges to rub their hairy faces on

BRITAIN'S cats have demanded more corners and edges for them to rub their hairy little cat faces against.

Massive toad totally running riverbank

A MASSIVE toad has his area of riverbank totally under control.