Environment

Weekend will not be sticky and bothersome, says Britain

BRITAIN is absolutely positive the weekend heatwave will be free of discomfort, arguments and the doing of too many things.

Sharks interesting

SHARKS are really interesting, it has been confirmed.

Massive rats just want to get on your face at night

BRITAIN'S 2ft super-rats have said they only want to scrabble about on your sleeping body.

Climate change still not terrifying enough

IF scientists want us to be scared of climate change they are going to have to try a lot harder, it has been confirmed.

Caterpillars reject 'very hungry' stereotype

CATERPILLARS have called for an end to the assumption that they are incredibly gluttonous.

Student house rat infestation is a status symbol

STUDENTS think having a massive rat shitting in their kitchen is cool, it has emerged.

Still cold, say men without coats

MEN who decided to leave their jackets at home today have confirmed that they made a mistake.

Welsh weather explained to TripAdvisor beach judges

THE TripAdvisor judges who rated a Welsh beach as one of the world's top ten are being educated on the country's weather.