A WOMAN reads out the predictions of her weather app like a shaman receiving messages from an ancient god, it has emerged.
BUTTERFLY and bee populations have paid tribute to Muhammad Ali and thanked him for his gracious compliment.
LONDONERS are struggling to understand claims that Britain enjoyed a day of wonderful sunshine yesterday when they did not.
GORILLAS have confirmed they will continue to patiently tolerate the less evolved human species.
NORTH Yorkshire is to be set on fire so the rest of the UK can have a hot bath.
A CAT has announced plans to continue sitting in the front window of a house, watching over everything like Stalin in communist Russia.
A DOG has confirmed that he is ready to take his growing relationship with a cushion to a more physical level.
A HUGE fly has announced plans to fly into living rooms in a fast and confused fashion before desperately trying to find his way out again.