THOUSANDS of relieved gardeners are finally able to water the swamp-like areas attached to their houses, as the hosepipe ban is lifted.
DARK clouds have started to hurl insults as well as rain at the British Isles.
WOLVES are furious at being depicted on tat including poor quality fleece jackets and cheap t-shirts, it has emerged.
LONESOME George, a tortoise believed to be the last of his species, has expired after a 78-year drugs and alcohol binge.
THE country of Wales has returned to its natural submerged state.
CAPTAIN Scott and his team married female penguins during their trip to the Antarctic, it has emerged.
WATER voles are no longer taking shit off predators, it has emerged.
THE prospect of decent weather has inspired truly heartbreaking levels of joy across the UK.