PLANET Earth has confirmed that it really does not like Sting.
ESSEX is to be turned into a gigantic sewage outflow for the city of London.
THE 2014 fungi crop is hoping to induce more cases of projectile vomiting after a disappointing 2013.
THE majority of Britain’s hedgehogs, moles and hares have made homes in derelict DVD libraries.
SLUGS get into kitchens by teleporting, it has emerged.
ENDANGERED water voles have designed a revised food chain where nothing eats them.
GEESE are inexplicably convinced that they are hard as nails, it has emerged.
DELIBERATELY antagonistic people are claiming to prefer the wet weather just to provoke arguments.