TURNING the heating on after the summer is as traumatic as losing a reasonably well-liked relative, it has been claimed.
PLASTIC bags are to be printed with lurid sexual imagery in a bid to discourage their use.
WARM weather has helped butterflies complete their life cycle by becoming wasps.
THE high speed rail line between London and Birmingham will boost the economy by an enormous made-up number, it has been confirmed.
WASPS are desperately trying to share their advanced scientific and philosophical knowledge with humans.
THE scientist who discovered a new ferret-like mammal is pleading with colleagues to somehow get it off his face.
GIANT pandas will become a common pest in the UK as they breed uncontrollably, it has emerged.