We’re not weird, say fish

FISH have spoken out against the widely-held supposition that they are weird. 

The rebuttal, which includes a lawsuit against clothing company Weird Fish, also blasts Sir David Attenborough’s Blue Planet for ‘perpetuating stereotypes’. 

Sea bass Tom Booker said: “It was bad enough when it was just stoners blowing their weed-addled minds about how strange we were. But now it’s gone mainstream. 

“‘Oh, angler fish are bizarre because they’ve got lights on their heads!’ Yeah? You try living at 1,500m below the surface, under incredible pressure, in complete darkness. See how you evolve. 

“The ocean and freshwater-based community is largely unremarkable, as well you know. Bit slippery, bit silvery, good at swimming, perfectly adapted to their environment

“But instead of accepting that, you cherry-pick out the most freakish among us – seriously, we’ve hardly heard of these guys – and put them in the spotlight to confirm your prejudices.

“We’re not your ‘weird’ accessory. Fuck off and goggle at insects.”