All doctors smoke

ALL doctors smoke fags, it has been confirmed.

Senior medical professionals have revealed that they are all addicted to cigarettes, and that they are often having one within five minutes of giving out stern health advice.

Doctor Emma Bradford spent yesterday afternoon warning patients about everything from cholesterol to tobacco and alcohol consumption, before going to smoke a gasper by some bins.

Patient Tom Booker said: “She was really hardcore with me during my check-up because I am half a stone overweight and I need to eat more apples. But all the time I could see she had a packet of Bensons on her desk, half-concealed under a heap of x-rays.”

Bradford said: “After a tough morning of check-ups and diagnoses, you need a fag.

“It’s my life anyway. I don’t see how it’s anyone else’s business.”

Fellow GP Norman Steele said: “All doctors smoke, and the more senior doctors will smoke up to three cigarettes in one fag break.

“There’s even a special cigarette brand called ‘Medic Deluxe’ that only doctors can buy. They’re really strong.”