THE collective wealth of Britain's doctors is now so vast that they have clubbed together to buy Croatia.

Croatia is relatively free of chronically ill people

"After the last round of pay negotiations with the Department of Health there was so much money. It just kept coming. It was a bit like Goodfellas, actually.

"Anyway, we wanted a very large place we could legally call our own. A place where we could relax with other doctors and not be bothered by people who didn't spend five years at university."

He added: "We almost bought half a dozen countries in West Africa until someone made the very good point that they're full of sick people."

After exchanging contracts with the Croatian government at the end of August, the doctors will carry out extensive refurbishment of their new country - including 350 new golf courses and a vast network of Jaguar dealerships - while retaining much of the original character.

The BMA said a small number of Croatians will be kept on as staff, while the rest will be dispersed across western Europe.

Croatian doctors will be allowed to buy a timeshare.

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