David Duchovny Has His Cake And Shags It
X-FILES star David Duchovny last night became the latest Hollywood star to have sex with countless women and then claim he was not right in the head.
Duchovny has checked himself into a rehabilitation clinic which specialises in the treatment of men who like to hump anything that moves but do not want to have arguments with their wives.
Dr Henry Brubaker, head of sex addiction at the Institute for Studies, said: "There comes a time in the life of every good-looking millionaire actor when nine out of 10 of women will agree to have sex with them.
"At this point many of them find themselves trapped in the horrendous position of having a tremendous amount of sex.
"Generally it is the young, single actors who are able to cope with having sex 10 or 12 times a day without becoming clinically addicted.
"But there are still too many married, middle-aged actors whose wives have fantastic lawyers, who suddenly become consumed by this crippling medical condition."
Dr Brubaker added: "Makes you fucking sick, doesn't it?"
Duchovny is expected undergo a series of radical treatments including wet and dry testicular shock therapy and looking an artist's impression of the tiny house he will have to live in after his divorce.