DEATH finds the human obsession with exercise highly amusing, it has emerged.
Death said: “All this chitter chatter about low-impact, high-impact, yadda yadda.
“I’ll get you all just the same.
“Seeing you in your gymnasiums bouncing along on those machines, how stupid you look.
“Ha ha ha.”
Dear Holly,
Im thinking about taking inspiration from the Pope and telling my boss to go f*ck himself. If the big man cant be bothered, why should any of the rest of us?
Paul
Skegness
Dear Paul,
The Pope must be pretty special to be able to have The as his first name even more important than Madonna. But just because hes a big star and best pals with God, he still needs money so hell probably have to go and work on the deli counter in Morrisons. Hell be given a name badge saying The on it, which will just look daft. The Pope will also get made to wear one of those hairnets to stop him contaminating the cold meats, and I expect hell find it difficult to stretch it over that weird pointy hat. Thinking more about it, hell probably start receiving complaints from customers because he cant hear them through the toughened glass of his Pope-mobile, and when someone asks for half a pound of Yorkshire ham hell give them four Mini-Meltons by mistake. You can see why most Popes just stick with what they know best.
Hope that helps!
Holly
