Girlfriends demand more spots to squeeze

BRITAIN’S girlfriends are demanding that their partners get more spots and then allow them to squeeze them.

Research by the Institute for Studies found that 98 per cent of women enjoy fiddling with their partner’s spots, although they cannot explain why. By comparison, only 0.2 per cent of men would consider touching a girlfriend’s pimples.

34-year-old Mary Fisher said: “I have an IQ of 149, I’m a heart surgeon at the Peterborough Royal Infirmary and I’m a member of the Royal Opera society.

“But if I’m being honest, my favourite past time is popping my partner’s spots, whenever he has them. The bigger the better.”

Bradford was keen to point out that it was only her boyfriend’s spots who she was interested in popping: “I wouldn’t burst just anyone’s spots. For example it is was some random guy who worked in a burger van and wanted his back de-spotting, I wouldn’t be into that.”

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “You could argue there was something sexual or even sado-masochistic about it, or that it’s some instinctive throwback to Neanderthal grooming rituals.

“But it isn’t those things. It’s just weird.”