Middle class children exposed to dangerous levels of sourdough

14-03-17

MIDDLE class children are in danger of regarding sourdough bread as normal, experts have warned.

The rise of fermented yeast has surpassed predictions, stoking fears that the next generation of middle class people will end up living in a no man’s land of over-priced artisan nonsense.

Yeast researcher Eleanor Shaw said: “Yesterday I was in a cafe and a child of four requested a smashed avocado sourdough toastie.

“These Noahs and Evas will never know the simple pleasure of chomping down on a Kingsmill sliced loaf, let alone a jam sandwich on Mighty White.”

Campaigners are now calling for fancy-pants bakeries to be subject to strict regulations, warning that a generation of middle class children could develop lifelong attitude problems.

Shaw added: “Some of these sourdough loaves cost up to £4.50. Who wants to raise their child in a world where bread is the preserve of the smug, overpaid tosspot?”

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