Millennials will never know the simple pleasure of a pack of ten fags

THE millennial generation will never know the simple, honest joy of purchasing a ten-pack of cigarettes, a study has found. 

Research showed that, in addition to squeezed wages, the housing crisis and global warming, millennials face the agony of either committing to 20 fags or having none at all. 

Social scientist Dr Helen Archer said: “This generation faces unbearable pressures. The collapse of public services, never being able to buy a home and being unable to get smokes for a night out without laying out more than a tenner. 

“Yes, they have iPhones, Fitbits and bitcoin, but they face being heavily taxed by their peer group in smoking areas because they are forced to carry a wealth of snouts. 

“Even in the post-war years, under rationing, Britons could buy five Woodbines and for many alive today it would seem inconceivable not to be able to get a pack of ten. 

“I only hope they will be able to forgive us for what we’ve done.”