Millions of unsold Creme Eggs about to hatch

13-01-16

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MILLIONS of unsold Creme Eggs are about to break open and release the hideous monsters inside, scientists have confirmed.

Creme Eggs, the ingredients of which are sourced from a gap in reality at Cadbury’s Bournville factory, were changed to a cheaper kind of chocolate last year in order to save 0.002p per unit.

As a result, 2015’s Creme Egg crop was left unharvested and has been allowed to grow to maturity for the first time since 1964.

Scientist Joseph Turner said: “The delicate life cycle of the Creme Egg has been interfered with causing its natural predator, the British public, to leave a batch to incubate in the back rooms of shops.

“Now we face catastrophe. The hatchlings have never been described – indeed, I believe they cannot be directly looked at – but they hunger.”

Newsagent Nathan Muir said: “I heard them breaking out, the empty chocolate shells left behind. I hear them scuttling in dark corners, and whispering.

“’How do you eat yours?’ they say to each other, and laugh. ‘How do you eat yours?’”

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