Minister Tells Middle Classes: Buy A Bong

MIDDLE class people looking to get "off their tits" should give up wine and smoke drugs "like everyone else", health minister Caroline Flint said last night. 

That's a nice one

According to the minister too many middle class people are having quiet suppers at home with fine wines instead of opening up their houses for mass drug benders.

She said these "problem drinkers" would be far better off if they smoked "da bong" with a load of strangers and eat ten rounds of cheese on toast at four in the morning.

Ms Flint said: "We as a government are committed to stamping out anti-social behaviour, and there is nothing more anti-social than having a few of your posh friends round for a simple rustic supper and a three or four bottles of good Chianti.

"Middle class people have the best party houses with loads of space for dancing and lots of bedrooms. Yet all they ever use them for is these polite dinner parties, and the occasional bit of coke snorting.

"We want to make it socially unacceptable for the middle classes to sit about getting quietly merry on their own in their big houses every night.

"They should either be drunk out on the streets being sick like most normal people, or inviting everyone back to theirs to get totally laid out on some quality skunk."