Health
80% Of NHS Time Spent Cleaving Lard From Fat Ladies
THE National Health Service is now mainly employed as a device for extracting fat from chocoholics, experts have claimed.
Thousands Of Doctors Prescribing Jesus
CHRISTIAN doctors are regularly sending patients home with a course of Testament, according to new research.
Schafernaker 'Lucky He Didn't Put His Eye Out' Say Opticians
EXPERTS have issued new guidelines for live TV gaffe recovery after Tomasz Schafernaker almost took his eye out with an emergency
middle finger retraction.
Legalise Drugs, Says Some Crazy President Of The Royal College Of Physicians
THE campaign to legalise drugs was today backed by someone whose only qualification is to know exactly what he is talking about.
New Superbug Is Foreign As Well
THE deadly new superbug that is going kill you by Friday is not even British, it emerged last night.
You First, Men Tell Bundchen
GISELE Bundchen has been urged to boost her breastfeeding campaign by coming to people's houses and showing them how it's done.
Doctors Call For End To NHS Witch-Bobbing
FUNDING for crone divination should be scrapped, the British Medical Council said last night.
Fat Causes Fatness, Say Experts
THE fat that is in food could be the same as the fat that is in people, experts claimed last night.