Health

GP prescribes ecstasy to miserable twat

A POST office worker from Kings Lynn has been prescribed ecstasy to stop him complaining about everything.

Call for consensus on how to destroy the NHS

MPs must stop using the National Health Service as a political football so that it can be destroyed once and for all, it has been claimed.

Women offered chance to give birth anally

WOMEN in the UK will soon have the option to give birth anally, as part of the NHS reform bill.

Gordon Ramsay's face 'cuts bowel cancer risk'

PEOPLE who visualise Gordon Ramsay's face while they are on the toilet can reduce their risk of bowel cancer, according to new research.

Doctors to strike over ban on urine extraction

DOCTORS are to strike after the government banned their right to continually demand urine from their patients.

Headache epidemic caused by having to think

EXPERTS have warned the Wikipedia blackout will cause widescale brain injuries as people try to know things.

Does sleeping count as not drinking? asks Britain

BRITAIN would like to know if being fast asleep counts as time off the drink.

Healthy eating campaign makes Britons want to die younger

THE latest government healthy eating campaign has made UK citizens feel okay about dying soon.