WEALTHY over-50s have slurred that they can look after themselves when it comes to alcohol.
MARKS & Spencer is set to replace Percy Pigs with methadone at its tills.
WOMEN are getting pregnant just so they can get high on ‘hippy crack’ from the NHS, it has emerged.
THE DAILY Mail has assured its female readers that it will make them pregnant if they are still childless by 35.
TAKING Instagram egg photos can trigger insanity, it has emerged.
PEOPLE who use a swivel chair to make themselves dizzy face up to three years in prison.
BRITAIN’S teeth are imperfect because they have not had lots of weird, expensive shit done to them, it has been confirmed.
IF you can get addicted to something as awful as running you should definitely not try cocaine, according to experts.