Health

Gordon Ramsay's face 'cuts bowel cancer risk'

PEOPLE who visualise Gordon Ramsay's face while they are on the toilet can reduce their risk of bowel cancer, according to new research.

Doctors to strike over ban on urine extraction

DOCTORS are to strike after the government banned their right to continually demand urine from their patients.

Headache epidemic caused by having to think

EXPERTS have warned the Wikipedia blackout will cause widescale brain injuries as people try to know things.

Does sleeping count as not drinking? asks Britain

BRITAIN would like to know if being fast asleep counts as time off the drink.

Healthy eating campaign makes Britons want to die younger

THE latest government healthy eating campaign has made UK citizens feel okay about dying soon.

Man visits Post Office without catching anything

A 38-YEAR-OLD male has confounded medical experts by visiting a post Office in December without getting anyone's cold.

Avoid oysters if you're a pussy, say manly experts

THE risk of Norovirus means that oysters are unsuitable for anyone lacking a pair of balls, it has been claimed.

Doctors may be forced to work weekends

NHS hospitals could soon be staffed with doctors at weekends.