SCIENTISTS have helpfully revealed the number of risk-free cigarettes you can smoke every week.
NON-SMOKERS would prefer electronic cigarettes to be fatal, it has emerged.
MASSAGES are the opposite of soothing, it has emerged.
PEOPLE who are not getting any sex are tired of hearing about the health benefits of lovemaking.
HEALTH watchdogs have warned heroin addicts that they are risking their lives by consuming up to eighteen spoonfuls of sugar a day.
A POSSIBLE cure for peanut allergy means sufferers may have to talk about something else for a change.
THE country which exports Bieber has banned an artificially sweetened concoction filled with mood-altering chemicals.
HILARY Mantel's popular book Wolf Hall has made gout the must-have middle class illness, it has been claimed.