BACON has asserted that it is the greatest and all other food is its bitch.
THE UK's health record will lead to a new era in being bothered constantly.
IT is literally exploding out of both ends, Buckingham Palace has announced.
ADVERTS for Febreze 'fabric refresher' have caused numerous cases of hepatitis.
ALL products will soon feature graphic imagery illustrating how they might kill you.
DOCTORS have called for a new approach to obesity which gently encourages overweight people to despise the very idea of themselves.
AN inquiry has been launched into why it has taken a month to blame the horsemeat scandal on the French.