Health

Food intolerances linked to inability to shut your face

PEOPLE who believe they are intolerant to certain foods have been advised to stop going on about it.

Increased drinking caused by cancer fears

PEOPLE are drinking more to distract themselves from constantly worrying about cancer.

Doctors turn down money

DOCTORS have rejected an opportunity to make more money, it has emerged.

Bieber-fever a sexually transmitted disease, say experts

'BIEBER fever' is a sexually transmitted bacterial infection, scientists have confirmed.

Relief as kebabs found to contain chimp meat

KEBAB lovers were last night relieved to discover their favourite food is nothing more than illegal chimpanzee meat.

Thousands of public health experts could disappear

THOUSANDS of public health experts could disappear over the next two weeks if they don't shut it, according to a new study.

NHS forcing old people into bare-knuckle boxing

THE National Health Service is now little more than a front for illegal boxing matches between frail pensioners, according to a new report.

NHS to get fat people to hospital using trail of Wotsits

THE NHS is to improve its performance in getting fat people to hospital by deploying long trails of Wotsits.