BRITONS have already eaten the massive amount of sweets they ostensibly bought for trick or treaters.
WORKERS have been advised to squeeze in some fraudulent sick leave in before the end of October.
DREAMS have no hidden meanings, it has emerged.
MOST hangovers are wrongly blamed on beer that is contaminated.
ELECTRONIC cigarettes are to be classified as adult nipple substitutes.
28-YEAR-OLD Tom Logan has described how a single night of intense drinking ravaged his youthful looks.
DESPERATELY clinging to your lost youth does not slow the ageing process, according to scientists.