BRITAIN was today coming to terms with the possibility that Jamie Oliver is the only person currently making any sense.
THE National Health Service is to save up to £30 a year by specialising in asking 25 year-old gym teachers if they're feeling okay.
THE majority of potential organ donors would prefer to keep hold of their body parts until they are fully decomposed, just in case.
THE European Union has been accused of nanny state meddling after giving the Heimlich manoeuvre to a three year-old.
DAVID Cameron is to cut the deficit by removing at least 30% of Britain with catastrophically out-of-date pork products.
RESEARCHERS have isolated the strand of DNA responsible for people denying responsibility for anything.
LOOKING down your nose at normal people can add 10 years to your life, say researchers.
FEMALE hormone tests can now accurately predict the rate at which a man's life will fall to bits.