MEN generally prefer to have relatively small testicles, it has been confirmed.
THE consumption of rosé has been banned for the next seven months, pending a review at Easter.
IF our wine needs some water in it then we know where the water is, middle class drinkers have confirmed.
SPENDING a week in a tent is long enough for you to believe that it was actually a good idea in the first place.
THE NHS's non-emergency helpline is to be staffed by overly-inquistive old women.
MOST Britons consider drinking a lot of alcohol to be their greatest achievement.
COLOURFUL cigarette packets are more addictive than their contents, experts have warned.