Organs really up for being donated

BRITAIN'S organs are very much in favour of being donated.

Why was corned beef being sold to anyone?

CONSUMERS have demanded to know why corned beef is available.

Nurses to be trained in nursing

NURSES will be trained to do other things instead of just looking busy and pretending to be doctors.

More ambulances used for hipster art than conveying sick people

EMERGENCY calls are going unanswered as hipsters pressure the NHS to decommission ambulances for their art projects.

Maybe fill-in the 'black death pit', says everyone

IT might be an idea to fill-in a big hole full of plague victims as quickly as possible, it has been suggested.

Shit-faced Theresa May in minimum price revolt

DAVID Cameron has ditched plans for minimum alcohol pricing after a revolt by the Cabinet's problem drinkers.

I am the greatest thing of all time, says bacon

BACON has asserted that it is the greatest and all other food is its bitch.

UK health record paves way for new round of bothering you

THE UK's health record will lead to a new era in being bothered constantly.