NHS reform to work this time

THE government is to press ahead with massive structural changes to the NHS because this time it is obviously going to work.

Deadly Ice Causing Hundreds Of Painful, Hilarious Falls

ICY pavements are causing a record number of injuries as people fall over in a manner that onlookers find incredibly funny.

'Truffle Shuffle' To Be Renamed 'Dance Of Death'

LOCAL councils are to rebrand the 'Truffle Shuffle' as the 'Dance of Death', as part of new plans to reduce the size of Britain's children.

Public Must Choose Between Cure For Cancer And Invisibility Cloak

SCIENCE cannot defeat cancer and produce a magical see-through space coat, experts have warned.

Immigration Laws Fuelling Rise In Insane Brain Surgeons

MORE than half the foreign surgeons allowed into the UK are insane and intent on undertaking crazy brain-swapping experiments, it has emerged.

Frigid Lesbianism Caused By Brain Defect

WOMEN who don't like having sex with men have something wrong with their brains, a new study has finally proved beyond doubt.

Britain To Become Nation Of Sponge Eaters

BRITAIN is set to become a nation of sponge eaters after reading the first two paragraphs of a story about cancer.

Chop-Chop, Scientists Tell Women

BEATING cancer involves less chatty and more cooky, according to new research.