LOCAL councils are to rebrand the 'Truffle Shuffle' as the 'Dance of Death', as part of new plans to reduce the size of Britain's children.
SCIENCE cannot defeat cancer and produce a magical see-through space coat, experts have warned.
MORE than half the foreign surgeons allowed into the UK are insane and
intent on undertaking crazy brain-swapping experiments, it has emerged.
WOMEN who don't like having sex with men have something wrong with their brains, a new study has finally proved beyond doubt.
BRITAIN is set to become a nation of sponge eaters after reading the first two paragraphs of a story about cancer.
BEATING cancer involves less chatty and more cooky, according to new research.
PUB chain Wetherspoons is to open outlets in accident and emergency departments for injured brawlers who want another drink.
THE National Health Service is now mainly employed as a device for extracting fat from chocoholics, experts have claimed.