A SATAN-worshipping nurse is facing the sack after summoning flesh-eating homunculi during working hours.
THERE were calls last night for a national debate over whether or not Britain really needs doctors.
THE fewer NHS doctors and nurses you have the more patients you can treat, according to a government commissioned report.
THE ailing NHS is to be kicked into shape using an array of characters from Street-Fighter 2, it was confirmed last night.
A STUDY of habitual snorers has found that they do it just to be a right pain in the arse.
MOST British children under the age of 12 now consist mainly of ham, according to a leading health charity.