Health

Former raver can no longer handle Red Bull

A MIDDLE-AGED former raver can no longer cope with the physical and psychological effects of a can of Red Bull, he has admitted.

Junior doctor accompanied by 12 medical students tells patient to 'relax'

A PATIENT surrounded by a junior doctor and a crowd of eager young medical students has been told to 'just relax'.

Hunt uses same plumber who installed NHS IT system

JEREMY Hunt has paid £44,000 for a shower room in his office after employing the same plumber who installed the NHS computer system.

Contaminated eggs give you an egg for a head

CONTAMINATED eggs will replace your entire head with the smooth, featureless ellipse of an egg, scientists have warned.

Northerners dying younger to avoid Last of the Summer Wine

NORTHERN men are dying younger to avoid three decades of light-hearted tomfoolery around the Yorkshire Dales.

NHS maternity services reduced to stick to bite on

CUTS to NHS maternity services mean that women in labour will now simply be offered a stick to bite.

Anti-vaccination family has built up natural immunity to facts

A FAMILY that refuses all vaccinations has a natural immunity to science and facts, it has emerged.

Southern Sainsbury's has weird veg, northern man reports

A NORTHERN man has returned from a trip to the Cotswolds and confirmed that the Sainsbury’s there has unusual vegetables.