Health

Gluten tastes delicious

GLUTEN is the magic ingredient that makes everything from bread to biscuits taste delicious, research has confirmed.

Big-hearted man would be pregnant for a week

A FATHER-TO-BE would love to share the highs and lows of pregnancy by being pregnant for a whole week, he has revealed.

Please, please stop us drinking beer in airports at 6am, say Britons

BRITISH air travellers will accept any regulation that stops them drinking full pints in airport bars at 6am, they have confirmed.

Office workers advised to run away

UNHEALTHY office staff have been advised to get out of their chairs and run from their workplace, never to return.

NHS to recruit debutante heiress nurses

STUDENT nurses are to be recruited from the society pages of Tatler after the withdrawal of bursaries.

Hunt stays as Health Secretary after May decides she hates everyone in Britain

JEREMY Hunt will remain as Health Secretary because the prime minister is a misanthropic lunatic, it has been confirmed.

Britain’s short-term transition plan involves alcohol

THE UK has announced that its immediate plan for cushioning the economic and social shockwaves of Brexit involves gin, wine and lager. 

Leaving a tiny bit of booze in bottom of glass ‘prevents alcoholism’

NOT completely finishing the alcohol you were drinking proves you do not have a drink problem, Britons believe.