Health

Humanity hails first selfless act involving a penis

A PIONEERING penis transplant may be the first time the male organ has actually helped someone, it has been claimed.

Woman ditches ‘summer body’ in favour of things that are not bollocks

A WOMAN has given up her bid to look good on a one-week holiday in favour of a summer full of drink and bacon, it has emerged.

Breakfast actually third most important meal of the day

BREAKFAST is the least important meal of the day, it has been confirmed.

Corsodyl advert shows woman being murdered by her own teeth

THE makers of Corsodyl mouthwash have defended a new advert in which a woman’s teeth come to life and murder her.

Britons confirm link between celebrating and going to hospital

WHEN British people celebrate things they usually end up in hospital, it has been confirmed.

Humans only able to eat avocado by imagining a sausage

EATING avocados is only possible by visualising a delicious sausage, it has been claimed.

Woman’s headache caused by every single aspect of her life

A WOMAN’S persistent headaches are caused by her job, commute, family life, relationship with her partner and hobbies, she has found.

Jeremy Hunt urges everyone to do something really risky today

THE health secretary has urged Britain to climb ladders, operate power tools and cross roads without looking for the next two days.