THE greatest experiment in the history of physics will begin this morning, followed shortly after by your horrifyingly painful death.
RUBBING your groin and inner thigh while staring at women makes you more sexually attractive, according to a new study.
DOING everything Chris Moyles tells you to do is now the UK's biggest cause of accident and emergency cases.
X-FILES star David Duchovny last night became the latest Hollywood star to have sex with countless women and then claim he was not right in the head.
BRITAIN sat down this morning and ordered itself a huge plate of fried cancer with mushrooms and baked beans.
THE department of health last night grudgingly agreed to stop people going blind for no reason.
A FIRM which claims its bottled water can help with weight loss has been told to stop filling it with the ebola virus.
CELEBRITY chef Antony Worrall Thompson has been foiled in his bid to kill the entire readership of Healthy & Organic Living magazine.