Health
Crocs Link To Smugness And Idiocy
WEARING Crocs shoes will transform you from a normal adult into a horribly self-satisfied and “self-consciously whacky tosser”, leading doctors warned last night.
One Billionth Dental Product Launched
IT'S been billed as the biggest event in a generation for people with mouths.
Cannabis Now Worse Than The Nazis
CANNABIS is now more evil than the Nazis and smoking the drug is worse for the brain than watching Richard Madeley on television, new research suggests.
Sitting Causes Arse Cancer, Say Docs
SITTING down dramatically increases the risk of arse cancer and should be regulated under strict new laws, doctors decided last night.
Property Value More Important Than My Kids, Say 92% Of Homeowners
HOMEOWNERS in the UK are more interested in the value of their house than in the fate of their own children, according to a new survey.
Disney To Ban Patio Heaters
ENTERTAINMENT giant Disney is to remove all images of patio heaters from its films.
Obesity Caused By 'Infected Buns'
FATNESS is contagious and can be caught from contaminated cakes, buns and sausages, according to new research.
Childline Tells Potter Fans To F*ck Off
CHILDLINE, the charity for abused children, will tell distraught Harry Potter fans, upset at the ending of the final book, to 'fuck right off'.