Health

'Thank God 2016's over' laughs man who will break both legs next week

A MAN who will soon be in traction with two broken legs is really glad 2016 is behind him.

Woman 'living in moment' finds that unfortunately it is connected to other moments

A WOMAN’S attempts to live in the moment have been disrupted by the arrival of other moments.

Stupid and evil people live longest, happiest lives

THE secret to living a long, happy life is to be nasty, unintelligent or a combination of the two, research has found.

Woman already making space under stairs for bullshit healthy lifestyle gadget

A WOMAN who asked for a smoothie-maker for Christmas has found the perfect place for it to be stored and forgotten about.

Smoker stops fannying about with ridiculous 'vaping'

A SMOKER has stopped messing around with ‘e-cigarettes’ and gone back to the real thing.

Processed red meat found to sort you out

EATING large amounts of fried and processed red meat sorts you out, it has been confirmed.

Toddlers become spherical for winter

TODDLERS have expanded into their spherical outdoor forms for the winter months.

Woman working hard on winter body

A WOMAN who ate a doughnut in the middle of the night is making her body an appropriate shape for the season.