THE government's contemporary plain packaging for cigarettes has made them desirable once again.
PEOPLE with colds who claim to have the flu have been reminded that the two things are entirely f*cking different.
A WOMAN who has embarked on a new diet is already seeing her social engagements dramatically slimmed down.
A MAN has given his girlfriend a satisfactory massage completely by chance.
THE operator of Britain’s only privately-run NHS hospital has admitted that it is struggling to make enough money out of human misery.
DOCTORS advising against binge-watching high-quality US dramas have introduced a limit of 21 units a week, or 18 for women.
ACCIDENT and emergency waiting times have worsened because Britain is so full of cretins, experts have confirmed.
'TAKING a month off' is allowing moderate drinkers to experience a thrilling pretend struggle with alcohol, it has emerged.