BRITISH air travellers will accept any regulation that stops them drinking full pints in airport bars at 6am, they have confirmed.
UNHEALTHY office staff have been advised to get out of their chairs and run from their workplace, never to return.
STUDENT nurses are to be recruited from the society pages of Tatler after the withdrawal of bursaries.
JEREMY Hunt will remain as Health Secretary because the prime minister is a misanthropic lunatic, it has been confirmed.
THE UK has announced that its immediate plan for cushioning the economic and social shockwaves of Brexit involves gin, wine and lager.
NOT completely finishing the alcohol you were drinking proves you do not have a drink problem, Britons believe.
IT WILL soon be dark in the evenings again, according to Britain’s grandmothers.
ONCE you are over 35 hangovers become a bleak psychological prison of paranoia and depression, it has been confirmed.
- Exercise definitely paying off, says permanently injured man
- Stupidity best cure for anxiety
- Smoker worried by hair in pouch of tobacco that already contains formaldehyde
- Oh no darling, will you have less holiday? say straight-faced parents
- How hungry you are may be linked to how much food you should eat