Health

Sleep still interfering with smartphone use

PERIODS of recuperative rest are still an obstacle to unlimited mobile phone usage, it has emerged.

Internet to cover for junior doctors during strike

ANYONE feeling ill during the doctors’ strike has been advised to just look it up on a computer.

Single people avoid all that kale bullshit, say experts

SINGLE people prefer to avoid kale and other bullshit vegetables, according to a new study.

Ex-raver dad delivers unconvincing drugs chat

A FATHER who used to take loads of Ecstasy has warned his teenage son of the perils of drugs.

Hospital parking charges ‘fair because most people just go there for a laugh'

MOST people who go to hospitals do so purely for fun, it has been claimed.

It wasn’t worth it, says 103-year-old vegetarian

A MAN who extended his life span by avoiding processed meats bitterly regrets having done so, it has emerged.

Former heroin addict sick of people asking him if it feels nice

A FORMER heroin addict has revealed that he is tired of people asking him what the drug feels like.

Cure for sick hamster is new hamster, vet tells child

A CHILD has been told the only cure for her hamster's illness is to surgically remove it and replace it with a healthy one.