Health
Blowjobs great for everyone
BLOWJOBS are the answer to all problems according to a new scientific study which every man in the Western world has circled in red in the Metro and presented eagerly to his partner.
NHS to export death in a corridor
MARKETING consultants are to sell NHS neglect to foreign countries.
Golf clubs besieged by sick people
AS the doctors' strike begins, thousands of sick people have descended on their GP's natural habitat, the golf course.
Sperm love to party down
SPERM actively enjoy alcohol and cigarettes, it has emerged.
Sober Britons risk dangerous levels of clarity
AS the UK's alcohol intake falls, doctors have warned that millions of sober people are unprepared for the full horror of modern Britain.
Really wanting a kebab not an emergency, Britain told
BRITONS have been reminded that having a strong desire for spicy meat is not a reason to dial 999.
No word for autism in Danish
BBC4 viewers have called on Scandinavia to incorporate its dysfunctional policewomen into the autistic spectrum.
Your school dinners are retro, pupils told
THE government is appealing to children's sense of nostalgia by promoting potato croquette-based school dinners as having a 'retro vibe'.