Health

Highlight of non-drinker’s life is soup

A NON-DRINKER’S most enjoyable sensory experience is a bowl of soup, he has revealed.

Cancer drug breakthrough prompts man to get back on the fags

NEWS of a breakthrough cancer treatment has prompted a man to light his first cigarette of the year.

Pegida also the name of a sexually transmitted disease

ANTI-ISLAM group Pegida shares its name with a type of nasty groin rash, it has emerged.

Drink-Uber limit lowered

THE legal blood-alcohol level for Uber users has been lowered after serious damage to passenger ratings.

Man with cold enjoys original and amusing comments about ‘man flu’

A MALE office worker with a cold is excitedly awaiting clever and funny remarks about how he actually has ‘man flu’, it has emerged.

Doctors evil, explains Hunt

DOCTORS only do it because they like cutting people up or making them take their clothes off, health secretary Jeremy Hunt has claimed.

Woman who ‘can’t help putting on weight’ is free energy machine

A WOMAN who claims to put on weight no matter how little she eats could solve the world’s energy crisis, it has emerged.

Pseudo-scientific diet fails to stop scientific illness

A WOMAN has contracted a stinking cold despite following a special diet based on wishful thinking.