THE health secretary has urged Britain to climb ladders, operate power tools and cross roads without looking for the next two days.
BRITONS are to ignore the manufacturer’s recommendation to only eat Dolmio once a week and chug six jars tonight, like every Friday.
DOCTORS have clarified that if there was ‘one weird trick’ to weight loss they would not hate it and would definitely tell you.
OWNERS of idiotic dogs have told their pets to pay for their own health insurance.
BRITAIN’S girlfriends are demanding that their partners get more spots and then allow them to squeeze them.
SCIENTISTS who discovered that being unhappy could be healthy have admitted that people from Yorkshire should live for ever.
ALL doctors smoke fags, it has been confirmed.
TRENDY barefoot running is the perfect combination of misery, showing off and pain, according to exercise fanatics.