Health

Concern grows for man seen buying incense sticks

A MAN has bought some sandalwood-scented joss sticks, according to concerned onlookers.

NHS to go underground by 2020

THE NHS will be an illegal underground network of flooded black-market hospitals manned by sinister masked surgeons by 2020, it has emerged.

So I guess we’re staying out now, says third pint

A MAN’S third pint explained in a friendly but firm voice that he would be staying out for the rest of the evening, it has emerged.

Hedgerows taste better than kale, say people who eat a lot of kale

A PLATEFUL of shrubbery tastes nicer than the ‘superfood’ kale, according to people who eat a large amount of kale.

Everyone secretly addicted to 35p non-brand energy drinks

EVERYONE in Britain is secretly drinking 15-20 cans of cheap, unbranded energy drinks a day, it has been confirmed.

Child watching sister’s birth not sure if this really counts as a treat

AN EIGHT-YEAR-OLD watching his mother give birth would rather be at the zoo, it has emerged.

Gluten tastes delicious

GLUTEN is the magic ingredient that makes everything from bread to biscuits taste delicious, research has confirmed.

Big-hearted man would be pregnant for a week

A FATHER-TO-BE would love to share the highs and lows of pregnancy by being pregnant for a whole week, he has revealed.