BRITAIN'S organs are very much in favour of being donated.
CONSUMERS have demanded to know why corned beef is available.
NURSES will be trained to do other things instead of just looking busy and pretending to be doctors.
EMERGENCY calls are going unanswered as hipsters pressure the NHS to decommission ambulances for their art projects.
IT might be an idea to fill-in a big hole full of black death victims as quickly as possible, it has been suggested.
DAVID Cameron has ditched plans for minimum alcohol pricing after a revolt by the Cabinet's problem drinkers.
BACON has asserted that it is the greatest and all other food is its bitch.