Health

Cigarette packets 'more addictive than nicotine'

COLOURFUL cigarette packets are more addictive than their contents, experts have warned.

Whiplash test to involve removal of telly and crisps

ANYONE claiming to have whiplash will be denied telly and crisps for a week, as a test of their integrity.

UK morgues full of unconscious people

BRITAIN'S mortuaries are full of people who are probably just really badly hurt, according to new research.

Drunk man at bar not lying about being a surgeon

THE pisshead you met at the weekend was telling the truth when he claimed to be a top surgeon.

Doctors' receptionists urged to be less terrifying

PATIENTS have asked doctors' receptionists if they can please stop looking at them like that.

Organs really up for being donated

BRITAIN'S organs are very much in favour of being donated.